Love Undercover
by Amazon Life
Summary: Thirteen goes out and picks up different girls every night, right? Wrong. The girls aren't different, but the same. And she's not the predator, but the prey.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: **Hey there! How's everyone doing?

As you can see, this is me again! Are you tired of me yet?

This fic, however, is different from all my previous ones, mainly because I'm writing it under request. A very sweet girl named Hana (a.k.a. **flooj9235**) was a bit out of her mind and decided that I was skilled enough to write something using the wonderful plot she's thought of. So, that's what this is!

Which means nothing of it is really mine, if you didn't figure that one out already. Nor the show, or the characters, or even the plot. I'm just... wait, what am I doing here again? Lol

Also, I'd like to finish this note with a dedication: This fic goes to Hana, for her enormous kindness in both letting me write it and helping me out with my English. You rock, girl! =)

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Remy Hadley left the locker room, after having showered and changed. She was off for the day, having solved the last case after days and nights of research and testing. She needed a drink. Walking to the front door, she left the Princeton-Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, heading towards her car and to her favorite place. The woman was completely oblivious to the fact that, from a corner, another doctor watched her every step.

Later that night, two women, one drunk, and one almost sober, stumbled into the intern's apartment, attached at the lips. Thirteen led the other brunette toward the bedroom, stripping off her partner's clothing as she did.

After many moans, whimpers and cries, a drunk Thirteen collapsed into the brunette's arms, a lazy, sated smile on her face. She nuzzled herself against her companion's chest, quickly falling asleep.

The brunette lay there for a while, enjoying being able to hold the other woman in her arms after making love to her. Finally, when she was sure that Thirteen was sound asleep, the girl extracted herself from the young doctor's arms and began picking up her clothes.

When she was dressed, the brunette headed out of her partner's apartment and headed toward the street, flagging a taxi. She told the driver her address, closing her eyes and resting her head against the headrest with a sigh.

After a short drive, the cab pulled up to the brunette's apartment complex, the driver alerting his passenger of their arrival with a quiet cough.

Paying her fee, the woman climbed out of the cab and made her way into her condo. She cautiously opened the door, relieved when she heard her boyfriend's snoring from the bedroom. Closing the door softly, she walked up to her coat closet and pulled a box out from the behind a few others. She paused before opening it to make sure her boyfriend was still asleep, then opened it and quickly pulled off her wig.

Allison Cameron shook out her blonde tresses, tucking the wig into the box and shoving it back into the closet quickly, making sure it was hidden behind the other boxes. She sighed and shut the door, leaning against it for a moment. Part of her wished she didn't have to sneak around that way, but the other part told her that Chase couldn't know about any of this. She'd already accepted his proposal, after all; they simply hadn't set a date for the wedding yet.

The blonde was very glad for that: she had promised herself she'd give up this fixation with Thirteen the moment she said "I do". In the end, she considered marriage to be a very serious commitment, and cheating on her husband wasn't something she would feel good about. Not that she felt fine cheating on her fiancé, but it was different. Every time she thought about it, the woman would try and convince herself that all she was doing was just to prepare herself to forget Remy Hadley for good.

She closed her eyes, picturing the intern and letting a smile come to her face. She'd noticed the younger woman almost immediately after House hired her, and had found herself completely intrigued and infatuated with her. Being with Chase had put a damper on Cameron's getting to know Thirteen, of course, but that hadn't stopped her. She'd bought special sets of clothes that Allison Cameron would never wear, a few wigs, and a bunch of makeup. She'd become a master of disguise and had tricked Thirteen over and over again, being helped by the fact that her younger counterpart was never sober. Tonight was definitely not the first time they'd slept together.

_"Each time I end up in bed with her"_, she thought, _"is one step closer to leaving her"_. She actually compared it to quitting cigarettes: she'd do it almost every day in the beginning, when Robert and her were taking a break; then, when they were officially dating, it was about once every two or three days; when he proposed, she resorted to seeking for the brunette twice a week, on the days Chase had to work late. When they got married, she had the firm intent to stop seeing her completely. However, that was something she wasn't ready to do yet.

Somehow, she'd managed to develop feelings for Thirteen. Strange, considering that they never really talked much, but the young, mysterious brunette stirred something in her. She couldn't name those feelings, but many times, when she was lying in bed with the intern in her arms, Cameron found herself wishing she was single and bolder so that they might strike up a friendship or maybe even something more. She wanted to get to know the other woman better, to find out what was behind the mask she wore to work everyday. Somehow, she knew there was much more to her than what the eyes could see: she sensed there was a certain depth to Thirteen, as if she'd been through hell and back. _'Just like me'_, she concluded, the first time that realization struck her.

After a moment, she got to her feet and headed toward the bedroom, shedding her jacket and tossing it onto the couch as she passed. The ER head changed into her pajamas, slipping into bed beside hey fiancé. The Australian didn't even stir, rolling over to face away from Cameron a moment later. The woman sighed and curled up on her side of the bed, drifting off into a restless sleep full of dreams of her lover.


	2. Chapter 2

Thirteen rolled over and slammed her hand down on her nightstand. "Damn it," she groaned, opening one eye to look for the absent, blaring alarm clock. She briefly considered covering her head with her pillow and going back to sleep, reasoning that it might help her hangover, before shooting the idea down. She sighed and crawled to the edge of her bed, finding the source of the noise on the floor. The brunette grabbed it, shutting it off before setting it back on it's place on her nightstand, and snuggling back underneath the covers.

Her eyes snapped open a minute later, going to the clock. She swore, bouncing out of bed, knowing she was already late; she'd always been an early riser, and set her alarm only to wake herself up in cases like this. Apparently, however, it was becoming way more common for her to be awoken by the alarm. After steadying herself, Thirteen ran to the bathroom and swallowed a few ibuprofen, showering and brushing her teeth.

The intern made it to PPTH in record time, racing through the lobby toward the elevators. She ignored the many pairs of curious eyes that followed her, unknowingly ignoring a longing, adoring gaze as well.

House eyed her as she hurried into the diagnostics office, raising his eyebrows as she threw herself down in her seat. "Ah, Thirty-one! I assume you have a good reason for being late, like maybe having hot girl sex? I won't put it in your personnel report if you have pictures". He waggled his eyebrows suggestively.

Dr. Hadley rolled her eyes. "I overslept", she told him curtly. "And besides, you don't even do your reports."

House scowled at her, tossing files onto the table at his team. Taub scoffed and looked up blankly at his boss. "They're empty."

Thirteen lifted the cover of the file in front of her and closed her eyes for a moment to try and calm herself down. She'd nearly killed herself trying to make it to work on time for nothing.

House grinned when he heard Foreman groaning, limping over to his office and disappearing for a moment. Thirteen exchanged disgusted glances with her colleagues, getting up and announcing that she was going to do House's clinic hours when she saw said doctor grabbing the ever-popular Monopoly box.

The young woman barely managed to escape, quickly retreating down the hall toward the elevators. A few minutes later, she was once again heading across the PPTH lobby. This time, she noticed a pair of brilliant green eyes following her, and returned the gaze. She tried to remember the name of their owner for a moment, finally placing the person as Dr. Cameron, head of the ER.

"Hi," she said as she approached. "Need some help?"

Cameron shook her head, a tired half smile on her face. "Nah, nothing major going on," she responded, studying Thirteen for a moment, before looking down and blushing slightly. "But thanks, anyway. No new cases for you?"

"Nope. I should get to doing House's clinic hours, then", the brunette answered, distractedly glancing over Cameron's shoulder toward the clinic. There was a line beginning to form at the patient sign in, and that was certainly a valid reason for the girl to excuse herself from the small talk.

"Have fun", Cameron called after her.

Waving over her shoulder, she walked into the clinic and headed to the nearest open exam room, grabbing the patient file and looking up with a fake smile on her face. "Mr. Carter? Hi, I'm Dr. Hadley. If you'll follow me…"

Hours later, Remy had dealt with crying babies and worried parents, several people with colds that were convinced they had the swine flu, and run blood tests on a woman she suspected might be pregnant. She had had to take a break: her stomach had been reminding her rather loudly that she'd skipped breakfast.

Thirteen told the nurse at the sign in that she was going to lunch, heading to the cafeteria. Grabbing a sandwich and a bottle of water and paying for her meal, she sat at a far table near the window. She stared out the window as she ate, purposefully ignoring everyone. The more mysterious she was to everyone in the hospital, the better off she was. Attachments had proven to be disastrous, and the last thing she needed was someone finding out about her nocturne habits and bugging her about them.

She knew her current lifestyle was highly unhealthy; she realized that, as a doctor, she should know better than to waste herself every night, get drunk, sometimes even do drugs, and have unprotected sex with complete strangers. Sometimes, she even kicked herself mentally in the morning, bracing herself for the time when her hangover and tiredness would compromise her patients' treatment. Still, she couldn't stop. Her whole day seemed to happen just as a premise of her nights; the expectation of them was the only thing keeping her moving on. She was addicted to the numbness.

After a few moments of reflection, a sight caught her attention. Outside the hospital, a man climbed out of his car, stopping and the back to retrieve a wheelchair, and proceeding to the other side, helping a woman onto it. A young girl excited the vehicle and hugged the lady longingly, before returning to the car to watch while the man wheeled her inside.

The young doctor's eyes prickled with tears as she watched the exchange, wondering if the girl was saying goodbye to her mother. Thirteen pushed away the uneaten half of her sandwich, having lost her appetite. Clutching her jaw, she stared out at the sky after blinking away her tears, lost in visions of her childhood.

When she finally came back to reality, Thirteen shook herself and headed to the bathroom. Sprinkling some water on her face, she stopped for a moment to stare at her morose reflection, thinking ahead to later on that evening. She would definitely need a drink (or better, many) tonight.

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**A/N: **Yup, some drama. It's all for a good cause, though. Or a naughty one, or even an evil one, but which would be equally good in a fic. LOL


	3. Chapter 3

Cameron walked into her apartment and set her purse down on the counter. A flashing light on her answering machine caught her attention, and the woman pressed the button as she headed to her bedroom to change out of her work clothes.

"Hey, Al," Chase's voice said. "I won't be able to come over tonight; some of the guys are having a bachelor party for one of my old college mates, and I can't get out of it. Uh… Have a nice night, I guess. I'm sorry, and I'll make it up to you, I promise."

The blonde smiled slightly as the machine rewound and stopped. A Chase-free night… Perfect. She fixed herself a quick dinner, glancing at the clock every few minutes. Earlier that night, the ER attending had glanced at the schedule to see when Thirteen got off, and knew that it would take the intern about half an hour to go to her favorite bar. Cameron could barely wait; she enjoyed spending as much time as she could outside of PPTH with Thirteen.

Actually, she enjoyed spending as much time as she could with the brunette, period. However, they barely met at work, and even when they did, it was hardly any productive. After all, Allison always had to pretend she didn't know anything about her coworker, always speaking just a few words to her, and, even like that, seizing those precious moments when the brunette's gray-blue eyes and velvety voice were directed to her.

After those brief encounters, the immunologist would always be left replaying them inside her head, fantasizing, wondering when she'd be brave enough to actually ask something more personal, or at least engage on a lengthy conversation with her fellow. She felt like she'd like to get to know her, like talking to her outside of bed would somehow make her less of a cheater.

Forty-five minutes later, Cameron finished applying her makeup and stepped back to admire her handiwork. With an approving nod, she reached for the color contacts she'd picked up earlier that day. Once the contacts were in, the doctor picked up her reddish-brown wig and put it on, surprised as usual at her new appearance. Only if someone studied her closely for a few minutes would they begin to see through the disguise. To a drunk Thirteen, she would be completely invisible.

She called a cab and headed downstairs to wait for it; she couldn't risk Thirteen recognizing her car. Slipping into the backseat, she wondered how this night would be. She knew that, eventually, she'd have to think about new ways to approach the intern, afraid that she wouldn't be able to act as well as she could disguise. So far, however, she had managed to remain unnoticed, and she hoped that night wouldn't be any different.

Chastising herself for thinking about future times when she was supposed to be working on forgetting Thirteen, Allison let her head rest on the car seat, with a sigh. She should take what she could get, and just focus on enjoying the brunette's company at the present moment.

Arriving at her destination and paying the driver, the blonde entered what she knew was her coworker's favorite bar, skimming through the crowd in search of the intern, as a predator skillfully looks for its prey. Cameron grinned to herself as she set eyes on Thirteen, after just a few minutes of searching.

Slowly, she made her way towards the brunette, who was sat on a stool at the bar, as always, with her back turned to the ER doctor. Taking a seat next to her, the shorter woman looked at her companion's face and was surprised to see what looked like tears streaming down across her cheeks. The smile that she had on her lips slowly faded, and she faltered, unsure of what to do or say.

Noticing someone's presence, Hadley glanced at the woman beside her for a few moments, then looked back at the nearly empty glass in front of her. Cameron noticed the other woman didn't seem as drunk that night as she used to be by that time, and that fact made her a bit scared to be recognized. Still, she thought that might be a good chance to actually talk to her.

"Can I... buy you a drink?", Cameron finally spoke, albeit uncertainly. The younger doctor remained unfazed for a moment, and the blonde was already starting to get up, when she lifter her shoulder in a shrug and curled her lips upward on the left side, in a sad, unhearted half-smile.

Sitting back down, she immediately ordered two drinks, deciding some alcohol might also help her feel at ease. She wished she could ask the woman what was wrong with her without giving it away that she actually knew her. Having an idea, she opted for a compromise.

"So... you look a bit familiar, I think I've seen you around... you come here often?"

"Yeah".

_'Great, I forgot she's not really the talkative kind. At least she hasn't said she thinks she knows me too!'_

"Yeah, me too. But I don't remember you looking this mellow in any other night... Did you have a bad day?"

The intern remained silent for a while, all the time looking at her glass. Then, she downed all of its contents with a single gulp, immediately asking the bartender for another drink, the fifth of the night. When it arrived, Cameron was already searching of something else to talk to her, thinking her question would be sullenly ignored. Once more, however, she was wrong. With a sip at her drink, the brunette answered, almost in a whisper.

"Actually, I did. A terrible one."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"Ask me again when I finish this drink. If I'm drunk enough, I might."

Cameron's eyes never left the younger woman's face as they stayed in silence, both drinking slowly, each one absorbed in their own thoughts. The sadness concealed there was evident and, as she had already done countless times, the ER attending wondered what was hidden behind it, what was it that she didn't allow anyone to see, and whether she'd be the one to whom it would be revealed.

Seeing that her companion's drink was almost over, Allison herself asked for one more, feeling dirty about it, but hoping it would at least make her talk; and so it did. Slowly and softly at first, but then gaining intensity as emotions took her over, Remy talked about her childhood, her mother, their relationship made so difficult because of her disease (to a point when she effectively hated her enough to not want to say goodbye when she died), her teenage years without a mother, her determination not to think about any of it, and the scene she had watched that afternoon, that completely shattered that intent.

While speaking, she never took her eyes away from the bar table; never looked at Cameron, never even acknowledged her presence, as if she was talking just to herself. She tried wiping her tears away, but, after a while, gave up and simply let them fall.

The blonde was absolutely shocked by what she heard; she could never have imagined that was the intern's secret. And, now that she knew, she was not sure of what she thought about it. Even her feelings about the information were mixed: on one hand, she was devastated by the girl's misery; on the other, she was exultant that she was finally having a chance to get to know her better.

When the brunette fell silent again, Allison felt like it was her turn to act, even though she had absolutely no clue on what she should do. She just knew she couldn't ignore Remy's obvious pain. Since no words occurred to her, the older woman got up, standing right next to her coworker's stool. Brushing a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear, she kissed the girl's cheek as softly as she could, then resting her forehead against the side of Thirteen's head.

She felt the intern sigh deeply at the contact, as if trying to savor the sensation. Encouraged by the fact that she wasn't pushed away, as she thought might happen, Cameron slid her arms around the young doctor's waist. She wanted to make the other woman feel secure, she wanted her to know she wasn't alone, that there was someone watching over her.

The older woman might not believe in God or anything similar, but she did believe things happened for a reason. And, at that moment, she knew exactly why she had been so fascinated by the other girl, why she had been obsessed to the point of stalking her: if it wasn't for that, she'd never have been in that bar that night.

Suddenly, the blonde was taken out of her musings by a movement of the body pressed close to hers. Bracing herself for being told off, she distanced her forehead from Hadley's to take a look at her face, and realized the shudder she had felt wasn't a try at getting rid of her embrace. It was a sob, a procession of sobs that made the pretty brunette shake as if she was having a seizure.

Allison helped Thirteen get on her feet, finding no resistance. Once more, she wrapped her arms around the slightly taller woman, this time much tighter, while one of her hands cupped her head, lightly stroking her soft hair with her fingertips. When she felt the weight of a head resting on her shoulder, wetness spreading over the cloth of her blouse, and a pair of arms retributing the embrace, she had the certainty that it was more than just a fascination, much, much more than pure sexual desire.

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**A/N:** Wow, I got kinda carried away with this chapter! And it ended up being quite different than what I had in mind at first, so please, let me know what you think of it! :)

Also, this is officially my last update before I go to Buenos Aires! I only leave next Wednesday, but all of my free time will be used arranging stuff for the trip. I still have, like, thousands of things to decide and buy and pack and etc.. That's why this chapter is almost totally unspellchecked! LOL Please, forgive any typos, mistakes, etc!

So, wish me a good trip, and don't forget to wish me a happy birthday when I come back! XD

**CdnGirl01:** I'm really, really glad to know you changed your mind about this fic. I hope you liked this chapter, as it sort of went along what you were hoping would happen. ;) Also, I hope I don't disappoint you with the general result. Thank you a lot for reading, reviewing and giving it a second chance!


	4. Chapter 4

Minutes and minutes went by as the two women remained involved in each other's embrace. Eventually, Remy's sobs dimmed down to a few hiccups now and then, her breathing started to even and the tears became less and less abundant. She felt relieved to let go of all the weight she had been carrying for so many years; she always doubted that talking about it would make things any better, but now, she could see she had been wrong. Talking had been good, and being comforted that way had been even better.

As much as she'd hate to admit it, she missed having a mother while growing up. She missed having someone to look after her, too listen to her and hold her. She never had that kind of thing, and that was a big part of her not letting people in: she never learned how to. She always thought no one would care, and even if they did, she had the feeling no one would understand. She was afraid of being exposed, of people treating her differently because of what they knew about her, of people using that to hurt her, of people running away from her. Her whole life, it had been like that. She never even tried to open up.

But that night, it hadn't been so hard at all. Maybe, she thought, because she was drunk; because she wouldn't remember any of it the next morning. Or maybe, because the woman she had talked to was a total stranger, who, chances were, would never see her again, and would never have the chance to show a reaction about the things she had told her.

Still, now that she was calming down, the brunette started to feel a little awkward about the fact that she was standing in a club, crying her heart out, and hugging a woman she had never seen before. Disengaging herself from the arms of the red-haired woman in front of her, the intern felt so embarrassed that she couldn't even look her in the eye. She didn't know what to say or do, the alcohol of the six vodka-loaded drinks she had taken still clouding her mind. All she knew was that she actually missed the contact.

Cameron, however, struck as she might be by the succession of facts that had just taken place, had her own self in control, and knew exactly what she wanted to do. Taking the taller woman's hand, she leaned in and whispered softly in her ear.

"Let's get you home, shall we? You need some sleep."

"I... I can do it myself. You've done... enough."

The ER doctor couldn't help but smiling at her companion's words. This was as close to a "thank you" as she'd get from Remy Hadley, and she knew it.

"I know you can take care of yourself. I just don't want you to have to do it tonight. Come on, let's go get a cab."

If the brunette's head could sink even lower, it certainly would have. As she looked at her own feet, she felt her vision blur again, as new tears found their way to her eyes. When the other girl tugged at her hand, she offered no resistance, letting herself be guided outside and to the street. Getting inside a taxi, she had to search her mind for a moment, before actually remembering her address, but eventually, the got going.

Upon arriving, the intern again let herself be taken out of the car and into the apartment building where she lived. For a moment, she wondered how her companion knew exactly which was her floor and loft, but supposed she herself had probably said that sometime, and forgot it because of her state of drunkenness.

Allison, on her turn, was so absorbed in taking care of the brunette that didn't even notice she might be telling herself away. All she could think of was how happy she felt holding the younger woman's hand and seeing that she had her trust, at least for that night.

Walking her to the bedroom, the disguised doctor followed Thirteen's directions for pajamas, helping her get undressed and dressed again, as if she were a child. The red-head-for-the-night, then, raised the cover on the bed so that the two of them could go under it, proceeding to tuck them in afterwards. One more wave of tenderness invaded her, when she felt her coworker snuggling onto her. Adjusting herself to hold her closer, she noticed how their bodies seemed to fit nicely, pressed to each other like that.

Remy herself didn't exactly know what led her to seek her companion's touch. But she did know, in the last few seconds before she fell asleep, that that was how she wanted to be: embraced and loved and safe.

Cameron felt the breathing of the woman next to her deepen, and knew she was asleep. Still, she didn't stop the soft, soothing movements her hand was making across the brunette's back: she loved to be able to touch her and feel her soft skin under her fingertips. To herself, she reflected that that night had been everything but sexual. And still, it had been the very best of all.

Placing a soft kiss on the younger woman's forehead, she carefully slid out of her embrace and of her apartment.

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**A/N: **I didn't intend to write this chapter. Really, I didn't. I had planned all the mellowness to end last chapter. Also, I had intended it to be longer.

But guess what? My mood influenced my writing, and I couldn't come up with anything long, and that wasn't sad and kinda soulful. I hope you don't mind it.

On another note... I need Cam to take care of me too. Does anybody know where I can find her?


	5. Chapter 5

Cameron slept very, very badly that night. She had gotten home emotionally exhausted and drained from her encounter with the beautiful brunette, and had tossed and turned in bed for a very long time, thinking about everything she had learned about her in the last few hours. Eventually, she had fallen asleep, just to be awaken mere two hours later, since her next shift in the ER started before dawn.

During the time they were together, the blonde was so focused on taking care of her companion that the reality of it all had just stricken her after she left the other doctor's apartment. Her chest felt heavy, as if she had somehow shared the weight that her colleague carried, and her heart felt like it was being smashed inside someone's invisible fist, just from the mere thought of all the pain Thirteen should be feeling.

True, she did have her share of pain in her life, but she had always had a supporting and loving family holding her up. She couldn't even imagine how it would have been if she had been forced to cope with her husband's death without their help. She was pretty sure she wouldn't be able to do it, and would end up becoming insane.

Remy obviously needed someone too. She did intend to show everyone that she was self-sufficient and independent, but Allison always saw through that and had the impression that it was just a façade. After their talk, her hunch had been totally confirmed: even if the younger woman refused to admit it, she felt the necessity to talk to someone, to be taken care of, to be loved by someone, and the fact that she had let a total stranger (or, at least, who she thought was a total stranger) do that proved that she couldn't count on anyone else for it.

Cameron was conscious of the fact that she had promised her own self she'd get over the intern. However, what had seemed to be so easy before, what she thought she'd be able to do anytime she wanted, now felt nearly impossible: she wanted nothing more than to be closer and closer to her.

Still, it was different. She didn't feel like spying on her, following her anymore. She didn't feel like giving her drinks and luring her to bed and having sex with her. That wasn't nearly enough, for either of them. She wanted to be with her, as her real self, and talk to her freely, and take care of her, and be a part of her life.

So much for her giving Thirteen up... So much for her upcoming wedding, her fiancé, everything else that wasn't the brunette.

With a sigh, the ER head got herself ready to go to the hospital.

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Remy woke up the next morning feeling less hungover than usual. Her headache was still present, but wasn't nearly as bad as it was most days, her vision wasn't that blurry, and she felt rested, as she hadn't feel in a very long while. Also, she did remember flashes from the previous night, which was already more than she could say from all the nights she hadn't spent working for the last three months or so. One more thing intrigued her: she was in pajamas. She usually woke up very much naked, if she had spent the night with someone... was it possible that she had come home alone the previous night?

She couldn't be sure if the flashes that filled her mind were from things that actually happened, from dreams she had had, or a mixture of both. She remembered talking to a girl at the bar, and that was probably real, because she knew she wasn't that drunk yet when they met. She also remembered spilling her life out to her, but doubted she had really done it; even drunk, she should've known better. And she remembered touch, a touch so soft and ethereal that it could only have been a dream.

Still, that last memory was what the young doctor clung to, as she readied herself to one more workday. She even closed her eyes once, to bring back the sensation of being comforted, for which she had longed for so many years. She couldn't make it feel any more real, getting the confirmation that it had been no more than a product of her subconscious wants. After all, why would a totally aleatory girl she met at a bar care for her or try to make her feel any better? They were all there for the same reason: to use each other to hide from their loneliness and their troubles. All those people she met every night, they were selfish, as selfish as she was, and the girls she had been with had used her as much as she had used them.

It wasn't possible that one of them would be with her to give, rather thank to take, was it?

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The morning was going smoothly for House's team. Having solved a case just the night before, they had nothing to do until Cuddy came up with someone for them to treat. This fact gave House the excuse he needed to propose a Questions&Answers game, with one little twist: only he could ask questions, and they were all personal.

Kutner, as always, was happy with the opportunity to talk about his life. The other ducklings, however, resorted to doing other things: Foreman proceeded to read a medical journal, Taub was ordered to the clinic, and Thirteen, as a punishment for refusing to tell her boss about her sexual life, was sent to the packed ER, to help take care of the mess created by a construction which had fallen down.

There were hurt workers everywhere, plus a couple of hurt kids who had been playing around, and the eventual people hurt in domestic accidents and such. The youngest duckling worked very hard, not even stopping to lunch. She mused to herself what a difference a couple more hours of sleep could make: she'd never have been able to keep up with the ER pace in a regular day. Still, by the time the ER was finally back to its normal rhythm, it was already over midnight, and the young doctor was exhausted.

Taking a shower in the locker room, she could feel all her sore muscles complain, and wondered how Cameron was able to do that every single day, and still be a kind person. Not that they spoke that often, but, the few times they did, the blonde had always been nice to her. The intern let her thoughts wander to the older woman for a moment; she hadn't seen her all day, due to the extreme caos of the department.

_'God, she's probably still working! She should really take a break sometime. And she's cute'_. The brunette frowned at that last thought. _'Wait, I didn't just think that! She's _not_ cute Remy, _not_ cute. Actually, she is cute. She's just not for you. She's engaged and _straight_, you understand?'_

Finishing her shower, the young woman dressed herself. As she was arranging her stuff back inside her locker, she heard the door open, and saw exactly the blonde she had been thinking of a few moments ago. She looked like a total mess, with dark circles below her eyes, blood all over her face and scrubs, and her hair pasted to the blood on her face, and flying in the air, and, really, everywhere but in the ponytail she had styled it in.

"Dr. Cameron..."

"Hi, Dr. Hadley. Thank you for... helping out today. I'm sorry it was so crazy..."

Thirteen could see that her colleague was slurring her words, and noticed that her eyes were barely open. Tiredness was written all over the older doctor. The brunette couldn't help but feel sorry for her, and wish she could somehow help the woman feel a bit better.

"You're welcome, and there's nothing to be sorry about. I'm glad I could be of use. Don't you want to sit down, or something? You look exhausted... When did you last sleep?"

"Uh... I woke up at five today... Yesterday, I mean... but I'm fine, really. I'll just take a shower to get rid of all this blood, then crash somewhere. My next shift actually starts in around six hours..."

Allison, tired as she might be, actually felt very good at that moment. She was having a real conversation with Remy! True, she was almost sleeping, and feared she might be making a total fool out of herself, but her heart nearly melt when she realized the other doctor was sort of worried about her.

"Jesus! You should really take it easy! That's not really a life, you know?"

The blonde chuckled at that, a bit surprised by her coworker's talkativeness. It's almost as if they were friends. _'Almost,'_, she thought_, 'because she has no clue that I know so much about her. __She actually seems fine today, better than most days at least. I hope she feels better as well...'_

Cameron finally moved from the doorway, heading to her locker to grab some stuff for her shower. With that, both doctors were standing shoulder-to-shoulder in the small space between the row of lockers and the bench. Hadley, having finally got her things settled, simply stood there, waiting for the blonde to free the way for her to leave.

"Oh, you wanna pass and I'm blocking your way... sorry, I'm really... slow."

"It's fine, I'm not in a hurry to go anywhere."

_'_The blonde felt like asking something like, '_Really, no clubbing tonight?'_, but managed to stop herself before giving away that she knew the intern hadn't stopped her nightly activities. Instead, she simply walked back until the end of the bench, making was for the brunette to walk by. But, as Remy was passing, Allison felt her vision go black and her legs falter, having the sensation that she was falling down really fast. Before she hit the ground, however, the movement sensation ceased, being replaced by the feeling of being held up.

"Yeah, Cameron, you're definitely just fine. Come on, sit here."

Leading the blonde to the bench, Thirteen knelt in front of her and held her thin wrist, pressing two fingers onto the pulse point and staring at her watch.

"Damn, your blood pressure's way below healthy! Did you at least eat something today?"

"Not... really", the blonde answered faintly, without even opening her eyes.

The brunette rolled her eyes at her companion, and mumbled, more to herself that to the other, "as they say it, doctor's don't ever take care of their own selves. I should know...".

"Listen, you'll wait here, and won't get up for anything, until I come back with something for you to eat, or at least a bit of salt to put under your tongue. Understand?"

The older doctor simply nodded. But, before the taller woman could get up, she felt a pair of arms enveloping her. That was totally unexpected, causing Remy to stiffen for a moment. After the initial surprise, however, she noticed she actually liked that sensation. The blonde's embrace was so sincere and soft that she couldn't keep from leaning into it. It was oddly familiar, as if that wasn't the first time she hugged her. Actually, it felt just like her dream...

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**A/N: **Yay, by far the longest chapter yet!! And the plot thickens... XD

I know some people will be happy with a bit of hospital interaction. ;)


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: **So, I'm back... after a month with no updates to this story. Did you miss me? lol Crazy, crazy life. I'm slowly starting to get the grip of my fics back, though. =)

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

After making sure that Allison ate something and was strong enough to take a shower and find somewhere to crash, Remy headed home. She felt bad leaving the older doctor at the hospital, and had even offered to drive her home (since she was obviously in no conditions to drive by herself), but the blonde had refused, stating that she'd have more sleep time if she just stayed at PPTH. Not being able to deny that fact, the brunette had no option but to leave; she was exhausted herself, and no place was like her warm, soft bed.

On the way home, however, she couldn't help thinking about the sensation she had had when Cameron hugged her. As far as she could remember, she hadn't hugged someone for years; besides, she was pretty sure she had _never_ hugged Cameron. '_Why did it feel so familiar, then? Also, why do I feel like it was the same sensation I had in my dream? Could I possibly have dreamed about hugging Dr. Cameron? If so, how could I even know how hugging her would feel?' _All these questions were truly puzzling her.

However, even more troublesome to the young woman was the fact that she hadn't wanted to leave her coworker alone; that she had actually enjoyed being in her company. And that, after being with her, she didn't feel the need to go get herself wasted, as she usually did after especially stressful or tiring days.

Thinking about it, the intern started skimming her mind for the few times she had interacted with the older doctor; somehow, all her memories had one point in common: she had felt relaxed while talking to the blonde. She hadn't felt like hiding behind masks and more masks, or like being excessively cold and distant. True, they had never really had any real conversations, that night having been by far the longest of their encounters, but still, it was something to take notice. Being around people usually unearthed her insecurities and her fear of relating to others; it usually made her want to flee; exceptions being, of course, the times when she was drunk. And, she now started to realize, when she was with the blonde.

She had no idea, however, as to why that would be. They weren't friends. She had no reason to like her company, other than the fact that she had always been nice to her. _'And that she's cute... NO, not again, Remy! You're not attracted to her, you can't be. She's not for you in any way, period'._ Still, the brunette thought it might be nice to talk to her colleague more often. As much as she'd hate to admit it, and would deny it 'till death if asked (by House, more than by any other people), she actually missed having someone to talk to, to share things with.

The last time she had had a close friend had been in the early years of college, when she wasn't yet bitter and brokenhearted, and the realization that she might have what killed her mother still hadn't sunk in. Her parents had been so worried about hiding the disease from her, and, when it became impossible, about protecting her from its effects and taking care of her mother's health, that they failed to acknowledge the fact that she ought to get tested as well. After her mother's death, her father had been too devastated to think about anything practical. He did enough trying to keep the two of them alive and moving on.

Actually, Remy couldn't even blame him. He had spent years devoted to his wife, barely having a life of his own, only to be stripped of her and left with a teenage daughter to take care of. Considering all this, he had been amazing. He had made it possible for her to have as normal a life as it was possible without a mother; he had gotten her into college and helped as much as he could; he had even accepted her bisexuality without any sort of complaint or rejection. The fact that he never wanted to think about Huntington's again, and thus did not remember he should check his daughter's health, was something very small compared to all he had managed to do, even when grieving.

That fact, however, meant that Remy found out about the possibility that she, too, might have that horrible disease when learning about it in one of her classes. She had been so shocked at that revelation that she couldn't pay attention to any word uttered by the teacher after that, and hadn't even noticed that the class had come to an end until one of her friends shook her back to reality.

After that, her life had changed. She immediately remembered all that she had suffered watching her mother die, and all the times she used to think her mother ought not to have had a husband and a child. Every time her mother would yell at or even hit her or her dad, she would try and remember that it was not her fault, as he had taught her to. Still, every time, she'd think that people like that should distance themselves from everyone else. One miserable person was way better than three; or so she thought.

Thus, after that day, she proceeded to do what she thought was right. She shut herself from everyone, broke up with her boyfriend, stopped talking to her friends, and even started avoiding her father, talking to him less and less frequently. She filled her time by doing everything she had wanted to do before she died, like climbing Kilimanjaro, going bungee-jumping, and so on. She had also started doing things to help people in every way she could. Things as simple as giving her umbrella to someone else in the middle of a storm, or as big as volunteering in community clinic, or, at that moment, working for one of the best diagnosticians in the country. Still, the void in her heart where people used to be hadn't been filled.

And then when she was starting to question herself whether that distance was really necessary, as she didn't even know for sure if she had the disease or not, she had taken the test. And it had come back positive. That was reason enough for her to be sure the path she was taking was the right one. And yet, she needed something more. She needed to feel comforted, to feel some kind of connection. Since she wouldn't allow anyone to get emotionally attached to her, she had decided sex would have to do the trick. But meaningless sex, in spite of allowing her to feel someone's touch, didn't exactly solve her problem. Then she turned to drinks and drugs for that. Not that that was what finally made her whole; it did, however, make her too numb to feel the emptiness.

That was how she had been living. She was actually starting to enjoy her careless lifestyle, one that allowed her to focus on either work or getting wasted, and forget everything else. _'Then that damn woman comes and makes me remember that I miss being around people. Fuck you, Cameron.'_

Arriving home, Thirteen let herself fall onto the bed without even getting changed. In less than a minute, the young doctor was already deep in sleep.

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**A/N: **Ok, this was so not what I had in mind when I started typing this chapter. It kinda wrote itself, really, and ended up like this. I'm not sure how I feel about it yet, but I hope you like it anyway. XD


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:** Hey, everyone! I'm really sorry for the delay on updating this... I'm a failure on updating frequently. *shakes head in defeat* I hope you're still with me, though! XD

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

"Hey, Al", the blond doctor approached his fiancée, who was standing by the nurses' station finishing some charting. "I called you last night for us to hang out, but you never answered... I even stopped by your place, but you weren't there. What happened?"

"The ER was hectic yesterday. When things got calmer, it was already too late to go home, and I was exhausted, so I just slept here". Allison purposefully omitted the fact that she had actually felt sick and needed Thirteen's help; she knew Robert well enough to be sure he'd give her a hard time for not calling him.

That was, in fact, one of the things that had made them break up the first time around: he was always so controlling, almost to the point of invading every aspect of her life. Cameron knew this was his way of showing he cared for her, and in a way, it was extremely sweet, but she couldn't stand it. She was used to being her own woman; ever since the death of her first husband, she promised herself she wouldn't grow too dependent on anyone else. And, as the years went by, she realized she actually liked having her independence.

Starting a committed relationship with Chase had already been a big step to her, one she had only taken with one person before him. But having him pry on everything, from what she ate to what time she went to bed to how many times a week they slept together, was way more than she could handle, so she decided it'd be better if they ended everything.

That was about the time her interest in the new duckling reached its apex, with her finally deciding to disguise herself and go after her. At first, and up until just a few nights ago, she could swear her interest was motivated purely by curiosity, physical attraction, and the rebel part in her that wanted to behave the exact same way as Thirteen did: drink, get wasted, have one night stands (with women, nonetheless)...

She also thought that last factor was what led her to continue doing that, even after Robert had apologized and promised to try not to be so controlling. Allison had hesitated before accepting him back, with a marriage proposal following suit, but his plead had been heartbreaking, and, as much as she had spent months trying to deny it, she did like him. Love, however, was a very different story. And moments like those made her remember that.

"You should have called me, I could have picked you up here, or at least come to keep you some company."

"Robert, all I did here was work and sleep. Both of these kept me busy enough not to need company", the ER attendant answered, with an exasperated sigh.

"Ok, ok... there's no need to get all cranky, I was just trying to be kind!". There he went again, making her feel guilty for not wanting all the attention he gave her. The female doctor's mind immediately jumped to Thirteen, whose attention was never too much; in fact, it was never even close to enough. She wondered if that meant something about their relationship, and how she would be able to manage being married to someone who, sweet and caring as he might be, nearly suffocated her daily.

"I'm sorry, Robert. I'm tired, that's all. We'll do something tonight, okay?"

"Actually, there's something I've been meaning to talk to you. That's why I called you yesterday. I could wait for tonight, but the sooner we get this worked out, the better."

"Worked out? What are you talking about?"

"I want you to ask Cuddy for ten vacation days. You haven't had any for four years, I know you have way more than those accumulated, so taking ten days now won't even be a problem to our honeymoon."

"Why would I take vacations day now?"

"To go on vacation, of course! You still haven't met my parents, and we're getting married, after all! I don't want them to meet you the night before our wedding, so I planned a trip to Melbourne for you to get to know each other."

"Melbourne? When?" Cameron knew she should feel exited by the news; her fiancé could barely hide his enthusiasm. However, that was absolutely not the way she felt. Again, her mind wandered to a certain brunette: being away would mean not having the chance to see her for at least ten days, not even being able to glance her way, and she wasn't sure she could manage that anymore. Especially not now that she knew so much about her; now that they were actually starting to talk to each other at work; now that she had realized she did care for her, more than she had been priorly willing to admit.

"I have plane tickets for this weekend."

"This weekend, already?"

"Yes... why? Is there any problem with the date?"

"Uh, I think I might have something planned... I can't exactly remember what, but the date sort of rings a bell."

"Oh, Allie! Cancel it, whatever it is! Our trip is more important than anything else you might have planned, isn't it?"

"Sure... I'll just go and... try to reschedule it". Cameron hated being called _'Allie'_, with all her heart. She just hoped her disgust and hesitation hadn't showed too much on her voice. Judging by her fiancé's smile, they hadn't. They parted ways, Chase heading to the OR, Allison supposedly to Cuddy's office. She arrived at the diagnostic's office instead.

"House," Cameron greeted her former boss as she stepped into his office.

The older doctor looked up at her, a smirk on his face as he tossed his oversized tennis ball against the wall. "Dr. Cameron, to what do I owe this pleasure?"

The woman rolled her eyes, sighing. "Cut it, House. I need to ask you something." She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, voicing the words she never thought she'd say: "I need a favor from you."

"If it's about that old guy in the ER, I don't know anything about it."

She frowned. "What old guy?"

The man grinned evilly, putting on a mask of innocence as he caught his ball and set it on his desk. "Never mind."

"House…", Cameron warned with a glare. "Don't. I'm serious." She swallowed before speaking again. "Chase is taking ten days off to go visit his family in Australia, and I need an excuse to stay behind."

House quirked an eyebrow. "Trouble in paradise?" he inquired, sitting back in his chair.

"That's none of your business," the former duckling retorted immediately, wincing when House smirked knowingly. "Okay, so, maybe we're not getting along so well right now. That's not relevant to this. Look, I already tried giving some excuse, but he's not taking it. So maybe if it's work-related… And I don't think Cuddy will help me with this."

"No." Her former boss knit his fingers behind his head and closed his eyes. "I won't get involved in your relationship."

Cameron gaped at him. "Why not? You suddenly decided to have morals? When have those stopped you from meddling in other people's business?"

"It's not morals, it's self-interest. When have I ever done something for a reason other than pleasing myself?"

The ER head sighed in defeat, knowing there was no way she'd get him to help her without offering something in return. "Ok, House, what do you want me to do for you? Your clinic duty? Paperwork? Just say and I'll do it."

"Wow, you are really desperate", he said calmly, then opening one eye and peering at her. "I need oral sex."

Cameron scowled at him. "Will you ever give up? That's completely out of question, House."

"Then my answer is still the same: no."

"I'll go to Cuddy and get her to eighty-six your cable TV." Cameron crossed her arms over her chest and stared at House defiantly.

House was silent for a moment, then he frowned and opened his other eye. "Fine. I'll handle it."

The woman nodded her thanks and turned to leave the office. A small part of her was a little worried about how exactly House would _'handle it'_, but the rest of her was relieved.

Walking back to the the ER, the blonde doctor spotted an elderly man standing at the nurses' station, noticing the look one of the nurses was shooting her. Cameron altered her course and headed in his direction.

"Ah, you must be Dr. Cameron!" the man proclaimed. "Just who I wanted to see!"

"Uhm, hello, I guess", Cameron said warily, remembering House's evil grin and suppressing a shudder.

The man pulled a large, gaudy bouquet from behind his back and presented it to Cameron. "For you," he said proudly, grinning toothily. "I was told you were looking for a boyfriend... and that you enjoyed older guys. I didn't think you were this pretty! So, when can we go on a date?"

"Uhm, thank you for the flowers, sir," Cameron replied uncertainly, "but whomever told you that was entirely mistaken. See, I'm engaged!". To prove her point, Allison lifted her right hand, showing him the ring around her finger. The man clearly deflated, his shoulders going down and his face crumbling. For a moment, the doctor thought he was going to cry, and felt sorry for him.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I mean, I'm happy for you, but you would've been a beautiful girlfriend..."

"Don't worry, I'm sure you'll find someone. Now if you'll excuse me..."

Cameron walked away with a sigh. She just hoped it was all worth the trouble.

A few hours later, Robert Chase made his way into the ER again, after finishing a relatively simple procedure. "Hey, Allison," he began incredulously.

Cameron winced; it was never a good thing when Chase called her by her full name, although the nickname he used for her was equally dreadful. "What?" she asked, putting an innocent smile on her face.

"Why did House just call me and tell me that you've decided to be his personal sex slave next week?"

Cameron groaned, knowing she should have made a plan and had House adhere to that. "Robert, do you actually still believe House? Anyway, the thing is: I tried to ask Cuddy for my vacation days, but House is so late on his paperwork that she practically implored me to do it, especially with the mandatory inspection coming up. There's no way I'll be able to get away right now, I'm sorry. I'm sure House likes the idea of me being his sex slave much better, though."

"I can't believe it. House manages to screw with us even when we're not working for him anymore!" Frustration was evident is his voice, and once again, Allison felt sorry for causing that; he was a good person, a good boyfriend, and shouldn't be getting any of the trouble she caused him. She knew she'd love him if it were a rational decision. Unfortunately, it wasn't.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: **Hey, everyone! I'm sorry it took me so long to update this story. There were many distractions, such as vacations, carnival, valentine's day fics, etc. Lol That and the fact that I've somewhat reached a block with this. Which means I'm not really sure what I'm doing with this chapter, so I'd appreciate feedback, impressions and ideas. :P

* * *

Cameron spent the next five days in a state of almost continuous anxiety. She feared her fiancé would go and ask Cuddy to let her travel, consequently finding out that she had never even asked for her vacation days. He'd definitely come after her then asking for an explanation, and she knew she should have an excuse prepared, but, as much as she thought and thought about it, she couldn't find anything that would justify her actions without telling the truth.

Fortunately for her, though, the possibility of talking to Cuddy never crossed his mind. In the end, disappointed as he had been, he had ended up resigning to the situation and preparing everything to travel on his own. At least, he had said, since he wouldn't be able to introduce his fiancée to his parents before the wedding, he'd tell them he was getting married in person.

The blonde's heart sunk every time he talked about their wedding, every time the mere thought of it crossed her mind. Because, the more she thought about it, the more she had the feeling she wouldn't be able to do this. For one thing, she wouldn't be able to pretend she loved him. However, even if he did not demand love, or if he was easily fooled by her friendship, he would indeed demand attention, and that was something else she wouldn't be able to give. At least, not the amount he needed.

As things were, Allison had already been trying to avoid the Australian doctor as much as possible, being overwhelmed by his constant clingyness. They hadn't been intimate with each other for at least a week, which was way too long for his standards, and hadn't even slept in the same place for about that long. And still, she did not miss him, even knowing she'd spend the next ten days without his company as well. Actually, she felt relieved he was going to be away, because that way, she wouldn't have to deal with him calling her, asking her to come over all the time, and so on.

Which meant that she would easily grow exasperated if they were to live in the same condo, work in the same hospital (he'd probably try to work their schedules to coincide), sleep together every night, wake up together every morning... The mere thought of it was somewhat dizzying to the head of the ER.

Cameron knew that, when you can barely stand the person you're with, the relationship has all but died out, and, once you reach that place, it's pointless to insist. Consequently, they should be working on finding a less painful way to end it. Getting married was the exact opposite of that. And still, her boyfriend was about to make it official to his parents.

She knew she shouldn't let him. She knew she should talk to him and set things straight before he went all the way to Down Under and made a complete fool of himself. But she didn't have a clue on what she'd tell him, what she'd say to make it less hurtful for him. Because she knew he loved her with all his heart, and she did care a lot about him. She knew she should end his dream before it was too far gone, so that the fall would be smaller; and still, she couldn't bring herself to doing it. So she just drove him to the airport, kissed him goodbye and sent him off, vowing to use that time to think about a way to sort things out.

On her way back home, however, her mind was occupied not by Chase, but by a certain brunette doctor in the Diagnostics team, whom the older woman hadn't seen for exactly six days. The two last times they had been together had been distinguishably different from all the previous ones: in one of them, Thirteen had been completely vulnerable, and had allowed Cameron to take care of her; in the next one, the situation had been inversed. The thing was that, in the first one, the younger doctor had no clue about who her helper was.

After that, the blonde had made no move to follow her. She had not tried dressing herself and going to the usual bar after her; she had not tried stalking her inside the hospital; she had not tried to talk to her. She didn't know what to say, and suddenly, just looking at her from a distance wasn't enough anymore. Not even the idea of sleeping with the drunk intern appealed to her. She would like to sleep with her again, for certain, but she'd feel terrible fooling her.

It occurred to her that she should have felt bad about it since the very beginning, but she hadn't. She had only started feeling that way since that last time, when she had been in bed with the younger brunette and could have done whatever she wanted to her, but chose to simply cuddle with her for a few moments. Musing to herself, she reached the conclusion that the change was not only because of the brunette's behavior, but also because of her own way of thinking.

In the beginning, she had lusted after the duckling, she had wanted her like you want an object; she had taken her cold and distant façade and acted accordingly, caring not about the other woman's feelings, but only about her own. Then that façade had been broken, when Remy allowed her to see her broken. And still, Allison could have ignored that, certain that there'd be no consequences. But she couldn't. Because, now, when she thought of the intern, she saw a human being, a girl with hidden feelings and hidden pain, who needed someone. She couldn't bring herself to lying to her without feeling guilty.

* * *

Thirteen, on her turn, hadn't been exactly busy since their last encounter. Diagnostics had been working on a case, which prevented her from making any more ER trips. Also because of it, many of her previous nights had been spent either running tests or monitoring their patient. On the two free nights she did have, she thought about going clubbing, as she always did when things were stressful, or tiring, or lonely, or whatever, really, since that was her main escape from anything and everything.

However, she did not put her plans into action either of the times. Instead of driving to the closest bar, she had simply driven home, with the excuse of getting a bit better dressed. She knew, in the back of her mind, that is was exactly that: an excuse, because she had never before cared about her clothes before going drinking. And, as soon as she entered her apartment, all the pretenses simply fell down: she didn't feel like getting changed into anything other than her Pj's.

Thus, on both nights, that was exactly what she did, after taking a warm and relaxing shower. After fixing herself some quick dinner and eating, the intern simply went to bed. On both nights, however, she could only sleep after tossing and turning in bed, and finally deciding to hold her extra pillow very close to her body. On both nights, she wished it had arms to hold her back.

The last of those nights had been exactly the previous one, when she had been allowed to go home at a decent hour, after having solved their latest case. Which meant that, when she woke up the next day, the intern knew they probably didn't yet have a new one at diagnostics. She wondered what she'd be sent to do that day. Part of her was wishing the ER, because that was definitely less boring than being stuck with clinic duty. But another part was dreading having to work with a certain blonde doctor.

Remy couldn't even put a finger on where that feeling was coming from, but she knew it from previous experience: she was getting depressed. Not the kind of depression she had been experiencing in the last few months, that led her to go looking for meaningless sex; the kind of depression that made her want to stay in bed all day, and cry in inappropriate times, and desperately need a hug. Looking for a starting date to those, the young doctor had reached the last time she had been clubbing, exactly a week ago: that weird night, with even weirder dreams and sensations. But she had also figures that the feeling had grown even deeper that following night, after her brief interaction with Cameron in the locker room.

Every time she looked back on it, something told her, like a voice whispering close to her ear, that the older woman had something to do with her newfound need for someone. Maybe it was the fragility that she exposed, which was very similar to the one the brunette was trying to hide; maybe it was the affectionate physical contact; or maybe it was simply looking at her and thinking she was sweet, and even somewhat similar to the girl she herself, Remy Hadley, could have been, hadn't it been for her mother's, and also hers, disease. Whatever it was, she was not too eager to be face to face with Allison Cameron.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Hey, everyone! Missed me? XD

I'm sorry for taking so long to update. Life's been... complicated. It's better now, don't worry, but it made me not feel like writing anything other than drabbles for quite a while. I'm trying to get back, though. So here goes a new chap! XD

Also, up to this chapter, I hadn't yet decided when this story would be set, but now I have. It's set in late season 5. Post Lucky Thirteen, post Last Resort, post The Greater Good, probably between Saviors and House Divided. BUT with alternative turns of events since The Greater Good. How? Read below to find out. XD

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Arriving at the hospital, Thirteen made her way to the diagnostics office, only find out she'd be, indeed, sent down to help in the ER, at least for the day. Trying not to show how annoyed she was at seeing her own predictions confirmed, the intern turned around and made her way back, wishing she'd at least have the luck of being informed Cameron was not working that shift. In case she didn't, she just wished the department would at least be busy enough to allow her to stay away from its head.

While her first wish was not granted, which she realized upon reading older doctor's name on the board of attending physicians, the second one actually was. Fortunately, there were no serious accidents, but quite a number of small ones kept everyone in the ER in a constant rush of treating patients and fulfilling charts, so much so that Allison didn't even notice the brunette's presence. At least until the late afternoon.

Three, maybe four hours before Remy could call it a day and go home, the room started growing quieter, the flux of patients having visibly decreased, and both doctors and nurses having started gravitating towards the nurses' station to catch a breath. Not really one for small talk, the brunette did exactly the opposite, going from one bed to the other, rechecking every patient to see if there was any more work to be done.

That was exactly what called some of the nurses' attention, since they were not used to anyone in their department looking for extra work; they usually took every chance they got to sit down, rest and shake some of the stress away. Realizing who the stray doctor was, they rushed to ask their head of department if there was any problem with House, remembering all the times his ducklings had been sent down to cause chaos in the ER.

The blonde, who had resorted to doing paperwork in her own office, was very much taken aback by the news. _'How is it possible that I worked alongside her for the whole day and never even realized she was there?'_ Furrowing her brow, she decided to see what the younger woman was doing for herself, to decide whether she was a threat, or was actually offering help. Of course, in the back of her mind, she knew that was just an excuse to take a look a her, since she hadn't had that beautiful sight before her eyes for more days than she'd like; but she pushed those thoughts away, trying to keep professional, at least in front of her subordinates.

She observed the intern for a few moments from a safe distance, mingling herself with the group of doctors and nurses, and concluded the brunette didn't seem to be doing any harm. Also, the fact that she was alone probably meant that there was no specific 'assignment' to be accomplished by the diagnostics team in the ER. The conclusion was satisfying enough to allow her to go back to her paperwork; and yet, she didn't. She remained where she was, taking in every her coworker's every gesture.

After a while, however, Thirteen started having that distinct sensation of being observed. Turning around swiftly to look behind her back, she instantly met a pair of green eyes staring back at her. Realizing who they belonged to, the young doctor let out a small gasp, unaware that her counterpart had done exactly the same when their gazes met.

Both doctors stood frozen on their spots, neither prepared for the encounter, although each one for her own private reasons. It was Cameron who, despite the awkwardness of the situation, stepped forward and made the way to where her colleague was standing.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Strangely, although they had been looking right into each other's eyes a few moments prior, neither of them could bring themselves to look up and face each other, both preferring to look at their own feet instead. Remy thought her companion's uneasiness could be blamed on her being ashamed of having needed her help a few nights before; after all, it'd be a shame for the moral compass of the hospital if people knew the wild partier had taken care of her, wouldn't it? Allison, on her turn, related the brunette's sudden shyness as her not wanting any comments on having helped her out; after all, she had to maintain her cold and distant façade, hadn't she? Still, she had to say _something_.

"Thanks... for that night. For not letting me collapse on the floor, I mean. And for bringing me food. And... well, thank you."

If the situation had been embarrassing for both doctors before, it became even more so after that exchange. Both women were blushing visibly, and still not daring to look at each other properly. Remy hesitated for a few more moments that dragged themselves endlessly, but in the end, she knew the other woman was waiting for a response, and that it'd be plain rude (almost House-like rude) to simply turn away without saying anything.

"It's ok, that was nothing. I... I hope you're feeling better. And... uh, if you... need something, feel free to page me."

Not even she knew where the hell that had come from. She had just intended to say a simple _'you're welcome'_ and walk away, but she suddenly found herself even offering her help to the older doctor. Once more, the intern got scared with the changes in usual her demeanor that seemed to occur whenever she was around her blonde colleague. Confused at her own self, all the woman could manage to do was put her initial plan into action and turn around, walking off in a random direction.

Cameron was left standing wide-eyed and open-mouthed, at both the duckling's answer and behavior. She wondered if she'd ever understand her; the woman remained a mystery for her, even though she was almost certain she knew more about her than most anyone there did. True, the news about her Huntington's diagnosis and about her clubbing and substance abuse habits had spread around the hospital at the speed of light.

But no one really knew how she was coping with that, or how she coped with her mother having it; and everyone assumed she had stopped self-destructing after the hostage incident, after she entered a medical trial and started a relationship with Eric Foreman. And, mainly, no one knew what she was doing with her life after the trial went very wrong, and consequently, so went her relationship.

Allison did, sort of. That fact made her feel a bit proud of herself, for having made at least some progress on learning more about her. But she quickly shut it down, feeling bad for the stalkerish behavior that had led her there. True, she was nowhere near satisfied with what she knew, but she'd have to try and find it out the conventional way. She'd have too much trouble already coming clean to Chase when he came back; she didn't need to be harboring any more secrets.

If she wanted to get closer to the brunette, she'd have to do it the traditional way: interacting with her. Talking to her. As herself. That'd be hard at the hospital, with everyone around, and the constant interruptions and pages going off and etc. , so she'd have to find another place. Problem was: where else she could meet her? Because, chances were, judging by their brief interaction of moments ago, Thirteen wasn't really likely to accept an invitation to go out together. So it had to be somewhere she could meet the brunette without the necessity to ask her to be there. And then the obvious answer downed on her.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

Remy stormed off of the ER as fast as she could, not caring about the many pairs of eyes that followed her. She was already used to everyone in the hospital eying her strangely, either because she was disturbing them for House, or because she was actually working, or because she was talking to someone, or because she was bisexual, or because she was _dying_. Having them look at her because she was walking fast was nothing out of the ordinary.

That was one more reason for her never trying to socialize with anyone outside from the team, and not even with them all that much: people would probably have more fun talking _about_ her than talking _to _her anyways.

Except Allison Cameron. The older woman was one of the very few people she had never seen gossiping behind her back. She was also one of the very few people who would actually make a point of talking to her whenever they happened to meet. Maybe that could explain why she couldn't seem to apply her usual ice-treatment to her?

Because she couldn't find any other explanation to it. Every time they met, every time they talked, she simply couldn't be as distant and uninterested as she intended to at least seem like she was when talking to people inside that hospital. Again, she reached the conclusion that there was something different about her female coworker. Something that made her want to be closer to her. Something that make her heart ache because she wasn't. Which, of course, was something she knew was absolutely no good.

Shaking her head to her own self, she knew she'd need something to keep her from overthinking, something to keep her from feeling what she was feeling. As relaxing as her couple of night at home had been, she knew they wouldn't be enough to help her fight the depression that only seemed to get stronger.

~.~.~.~.~.~.~.~

A/N: Big thanks to flooj9235 for once again inspiring me with an idea for this story! I might not have used it in the exact way you suggested, but it was of great, great help. :D


	10. Author's Note, Please Read!

No, this is not a chapter. Sorry to disappoint. This is a note to let you know that I don't know when I'll be able to update my stories. I still a few drabbles from the series written down already, so I should post them when I can get myself to type them up. The other ones will have to wait. And I can't give you any sort of prediction about how long it'll take. I am physically fine, so there's no need to worry about me, but my life is sort of a mess right now. Actually, it's a total mess. I'm working on fixing it, though, so that's where my energy is going at the moment. I haven't given up on either of my fic babies, so please don't give up on them, either. I'll come back as soon as I can.

I can still be found via PMs and the such, if you ever want to say 'hi', although I might not answer too fast. Thank you all for keeping up with me until now, and I hope it won't be long.

And please, do some good voodoo for the Cadley writers, because there's definitely some bad voodoo attacking us one by one. o_O'


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